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16 July 2014 @ 03:16 am
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30 April 2011 @ 06:06 am
As of tomorrow, three years will have passed. A lot of people think I'm not over you. They're right. They'll always be right, because I never will be over you. I write these feelings time and time again.. how will they ever reach you?

Every night, if I was far away or by your side, we were still under the stars. We could look up and be close to one another. That's what I told you all of those years ago. You held onto those words, I know you did, because someone told me you used them. I was happy.

Ever since I told you those words the first time, it's like the sky became more beautiful. I sat outside whenever I was upset, and to be honest, you were a thought in the back of my mind. Mostly, I thought.. "wow, stars are amazing."

You were there though, in my thoughts, because how could they not make me think of those times? You and I were the same then. I needed you then, more than I knew. I need you now, more than I can say.

It was years before we'd see each other again, and I'll never remember a moment as clearly as the moment when we first saw each other after that time. It's so cliche, but when I looked into your eyes, well, I've never thought anything was so gorgeous. I knew I'd been waiting for you. I knew I loved you.

It's hard to believe because it's so fairy tale. When I see these words, I laugh at myself because it's so ridiculous. But William, it's true. I wish I could ask you if you felt the same thing.

We caught up. That's when I started calling you William instead of Billy, because, you asked me to do so, strangely. You told me that everyone called you William now.. you lied, silly. Everyone else was calling you Billy and I felt so weird. Were you trying to escape that life.. ?

You went by another name too, the stupid name I gave you all those years ago, Tadashii. William... for keeping that name, all I can say is, thank you.... you held onto that name, and you held onto my words about the sky - that's how I know I meant something to you. I didn't have anything like that from you - but did you know how much you meant to me?

We got close again so fast. I depended so much on you. Then you went to Iowa to chase your dreams...

I remember that moment so vividly too, the moment when you came back after that time. Friday at the convention, I kept talking about missing you. You appeared the next day, surprising me, and I hugged you and cried on you for so long, and I told you never to leave me again...

You said you wouldn't. I still don't know if I forgive you for breaking that promise.

William, I wanted to hold you forever.

In my heart, I know that you knew my feelings, and I knew yours too. I just want to say the words to you so bad, and I want to hear them even more.

I love you.

I wish you were still under these stars with me.
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: "Dearly Beloved" Kingdom Hearts
28 April 2011 @ 06:33 am
Depressed, head pounding, seeing double, haven't slept in 24 hours, "almost" falling asleep sitting up - wishing I would, lying down and feeling wide awake (but awful), ear hurts, feels nauseous, back aches, neck aches, finger is sore..

Took painkillers, feel even sleepier, but no less painful.

My headache is a normal pounding mostly but occasionally getting these crazy sharp stabby pains which sucks. Can't think straight. can't focus on anything,so can't get my mind off the suck.

hating everything right now.
13 April 2011 @ 10:57 am
I wake up every day to e-mails from mom with special chores of some kind. I kind of hate them sometimes, cause I often get up and see something like

"Urgent!! go to town by 1PM!"

Time: 12:54
Time it takes to town: 15 minutes or more? (depends on what's in the road)

Today I woke up to..

"I left the washer and dryer free today but I need to do some laundry tonight. Turn roast off around 1 pm. Send the end of the story."

Me: :D :( :D :( :D :( :( :(


.... now excuse me while I do laundry. T_T
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: "Glamorous Sky" Mika Nakashima
07 April 2011 @ 05:10 pm
Mom: I started reading part 5 today..
Me: At work?
Mom: Yes. And I got interrupted, so I stopped. But how did he.. get out the window, and bloody again?
Me: What.
Mom: ... You don't even know which of your characters was bloody and went out the window?
Me: *thinking of the recent parts* ... uhmmmmm.
Mom: .. AHnoo. Last thing I remember he was under the bed.
Me: Onew? Ummm I don't remember.
Mom: How can you not remember?
Me: That's part FIVE! I'm on part TWENTY FOUR!
Mom: Right, well, he was bleeding... and then he changed clothes or whatever, and then somehow left and he was still bleeding?
Me: Yes. he was like, wounded. *trying to re-read what she's talking about* He didn't bandage himself up or like take a shower in Minho's house or anything.
Mom: Ah.. I just didn't remember~.

Mom, changing clothes doesn't heal wounds.

just so damn bamfy tho

Also - no seriously, why is Onew always bloody and jumping out of windows?

EDIT: Mom seems to be in the process of reading. (or she finished reading. I'm pretending she isn't finished because I want her to say more than what she said.)

I need to describe the settings more clearly, particularly Minho's room. *importance. I know I'm always saying "I LIKE TO LEAVE THINGS UP TO THE IMAGINATION", but if I leave too much someone may as well write their own story, right? *****give Minho more personality through his room. <--- so so so importanttttt.

Okay so notes for revision...
*be descriptive of settings
*Key should be female.
*include more of Minho's family
*rewrite the scene where Onew initially tells Minho that they're bonded.
*try to like, double the time before Jonghyun first shows up
*possibly include "council" characters earlier
*be more descriptive of Onew and Minho
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Juliette" SHINee
04 April 2011 @ 11:23 pm
Sap. Sap. Sap.Collapse )
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Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
01 April 2011 @ 11:10 pm

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